In 1988, as a child, John suffered a catastrophic brain injury and spent between eight and twelve weeks in a coma following a RTA. This left him with hidden disabilities including chronic fatigue syndrome and neurological damage. Consequently, he had many challenges and limitations in all aspects of life, having to learn to walk, talk, write and feed himself again.
Embracing the challenges in equality he began working with disadvantaged people in the community as an adult championing people who didn’t have a voice. He used the strategies that had helped him recover, for example setting up table tennis sessions for disabled young people to improve their coordination and giving talks in schools to raise awareness about brain injury to give young people a greater understanding and reduce the discrimination faced. As well as facilitating opportunities for disabled people and supporting them to achieve their educational aims and objectives.
Always keeping faith close to his motivations, he set off on a pilgrimage in 2020 visiting Cathedrals, Churches, Chapels and Shrines. This has shaped his outlook and given clarity to his approach to writing as he analyses and projects for the future.
Since his experience in a coma, he has always known God and credits the prayers and spiritual input during this time for his recovery and progress. His personal experience with God stems from him having a conversation with God asking if he wanted to live and John saying he wasn’t sure because of all the negativity in the world. God said, “OK, there’s a lot of people praying for you. I’ll leave it with you”. Some years later as a teenager and altar server, a vicar and friend said to him “God is in the people.” He recognises the strength of prayer and power in belief in the world and gave this input. This is something he has explored in the poetry pamphlet ‘Hidden Depths’.
Writing the Hidden Depths pamphlet helped him get away from his shadow, his inner darkness which had restricted his freedom for so long. It has enabled him to face himself and look into himself. In writing the poems he has been able to heal. This was after a period of depression lasting about ten years. He tried talking therapy, medication and many more self-help methods, including meditation but it was only when he looked at his own supressed emotions that he could find his truth, heal and face the darkness within himself. Light only emerged when he could go into the darkness and see the pain. And so to a path of nurturing his soul which required boundaries and getting rid of toxic relationships. He can now find himself again after peeling away layers of social expectation.
After many years of trying to fit into the demands of a society John could not physically and cognitively fit into, he wrote poems that represented that and all that is part and parcel of living with hidden disability and brain injury. For him to feel accepted in a community that ridiculed anything out of the norm was important to do on his terms without the mask that he felt that he had to wear for so long. Masking is so easy to do with a hidden disability because no one knows it is there. In fear of being marginalised because of difference it is difficult especially when he didn’t fit the mold internally but wanted to so much because of wanting to contribute, fit in and do the things that society values. It was all too easy to feel like he needed to slot in, play a part and went to excessive lengths to do this because of the expectations society put on him. He found the demands put on him to work too much and they caused further illness and disability. This is why he wants to tell his story to raise awareness and to promote understanding.
Stripping the world back and looking within has revealed his authentic self, not that he was ever trying to be anyone else, but over time the broken world with its ways had a way of shaping him to fit in. One thing the pilgrimage has shown him is that there are a far better set of values and norms he would rather adhere to. This is evident in his natural response when he is around some people and in some environments. A natural instinct to see through the self serving nature that some people have and how they use other people to achieve their goals and objectives. Sometimes we are stronger together sometimes we are not, but we are always stronger with God. There is no greater thing to centre your life on and to ground yourself in. Well, apart from yourself and if you have God in your life, it will be much richer for it. He speaks from a feeling of emptiness when he let in the broken world instead of God. And now he realises, how much he is enriched by his constant presence.
What is being born again? This is a question he has asked myself with his reawakening with all things God, scripture and immersing myself and his life with the father, the son and the holy spirit. There is something about an inner sanctuary, in engaging with the bricks and mortar of a building and some atmospheric elements, there is art in these buildings with some beautiful stained glass and other descriptive displays such as murals, poetry and music. An art gallery for God. But it is another thing to feel and express the spirit outwardly and to share in the word of God. Being at a church where he can feel an ultimate connection and being closer to God is essential for him. This was perhaps the reason for embarking on his pilgrimage in 2020. He was looking for something. He found it in his fiancee who was seeking a God centred man! Sharing the connection of God in life is such a very important thing in what can be a material world, lacking no substance what so ever.
Closer to a new life, closer to God and fulfilling what he has always wanted in fellowship. Awakening and being the person he has always wanted to be in following Jesus and scripture is incredibly important for direction and gives him a compass for life. It is a juxtaposition from escape. Something for many years he felt he had to do. To get away from the person he was and the connotations and labels people put on hidden disabilities. Instead to be accepted by Christ is a much bigger and better thing. God accepts everyone. Much more important than any guest list! Love must always overcome evil and disguise. To step away from the crowd has been so important and to follow his faith and belief has been the only way. Less is definitely more in getting closer to God. The ability to be closer to God enables him to make decisions based on firm foundations and recognise deception and wickedness at work. After being very close to God as a child he feels like as an adult he has missed out on time with God and his people. He is truly glad to have connected deeply with God again, embrace scripture and the meaning of faith.
He has been blessed to have had some very good christian God centred friends over the years and had some incredible encounters with people of faith over the years.He must also reflect on some dark times dressed up as light by some people proposing to be good christian people but have had their own manipulative intentions at heart and those who are considered false prophets.
“Those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles”. ISA 40.31.
He asks himself now, and people told me, of all the books he’s read, should he have been reading the bible. And yes, he definitely should. And remaining humble in this fallen world reminding himself he has life everlasting to come. It seems people have used God as a cover for their wrong doings.
Identity has always been an important part of his life, probably due to feeling like he is always on the edge. What do you have to do to fit in? Now he feels all those pressures gone. What better way to clothe himself in God and hold christian values that have moral and ethical principles based on the teachings of Jesus Christ in the Bible. It is important to treat others with radical love, grace and justice even if this proves challenging. The christian values must be our foundations. He has learnt this through experience! And certainly doesn’t overlook them and takes them as a manual for life.
Starting with The Greatest Commandment: Loving completely and loving your neighbor as yourself. (Matthew 22. 37-39.
Considering the Golden Rule: Doing to others what you would want them to do to you (Matthew 7:12)
And remembering and using the fruit of the spirit: Demonstrating love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, and self control. (Galatians 5:22:23).
The core principles of the teachings of Jesus are:
Love (Agape): Unselfishly, sacrificial care that puts the well-being of others ahead of oneself.
Compassion: Acting with kindness to ease the suffering of the poor, sick and vulnerable.
Forgiveness: Letting go of resentment and pardoning others just as God offers grace.
Humility: Recognising one’s own limitations and viewing others through God’s eyes.
Integrity: Maintaining moral consistency and truthfulness in private and public actions.
Justice: Defending the oppressed and treating every person with dignity because they bear God’s image.
These core values have been essential in his life from being bullied at school due to having a hidden disability to working with people of all ages to try and improve conditions and understanding for people with visual and hidden disabilities and other disadvantaged people. The challenges of this have seen his own health get worse and disability increase.
My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever. PS 73:26.
With the love of God in his heart he has truly loved working in the community with disadvantaged people. Sharing these experiences demonstrates the ability to show God working within us all.
About Me
John P Hindle lives in North Lancashire. He has a degree from the Faculty of Arts and Social Science at Durham University and studied for a Post Graduate Certificate of Teaching in Higher Education at UCLAN. He obtained a Master of Arts in Creative Writing at the University of Cumbria and has published his creative works in various magazines having also spent time as a writer in residence and tutor. John finds inspiration in collaborating with painters and sculptors. Over the years he has been a member of a number of different writing groups and in 2021 he set up a writing collective at King Street Arts in Lancaster with the proprietor. 2023 saw him launch his first Poetry Pamphlet ‘Hidden Depths’ following a three year collaboration with an abstract artist. The Hidden Depths Exhibition with John Baldwin’s paintings and John Hindle’s poems is at King Street Arts in Lancaster. Since launching The Hidden Depths Poetry Pamphlet John P Hindle has worked in universities helping people better understand hidden disabilities and brain injury through research.